One day, my friend John said to me "I know everybody".
I replied, "of course you know everybody. We live in a small town!"
"No, I mean I know everybody on the whole planet."
"I'll prove it."
A few hours later, we were in The White House. "I don't think you really know the President" I said. A woman came out of a room.
"The President will see you now" she said.
Later I said "ok, so you know the President. But nobody's even allowed in the same room as the Pope!"
"Hey, I haven't seen him in a while. Lets go!" I grudgingly went with him to Italy. There was a massive crowd in front of a big old building. "I'll be right back" said John. "Keep your eye on that balcony." He then left. About a half an hour later, he and the Pope came out on the balcony. I then fainted. I woke up later, with a some medic was standing over me. "Why'd you faint?" he asked.
"A girl next to me said 'who's that next to John'".